Coaching to help you unlock your potential and live a more fullfilled and happier life

Understand and let go of your insecurities, anxieties and fears and find a sense of identity, safety and belonging

 

ADOPTEE SUPPORT AND RELATIONSHIP COACHING

BATH AND INTERNATIONALLY ON-LINE BY SKYPE

Join Our Community

Receive helpful, inspiring articles and news from Alison

Please enter your name.
Please enter a valid email address.
Something went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.

Relationships present the biggest challenge for adoptees

Hello....I'm Alison and I am the adopted child of an adopted child.

I understand the challenges adoptees face and I have been helping people since 2011 to break their destructive patterns and understand themselves so they can live happier, peaceful lives.

Click here to find out more about Alison

Coaching from the heart

Studies have shown that most adoptees share core issues relating to abandonment and loss. They play out as insecurity around rejection, trust, intimacy, shame, guilt and control.

The very thing we are craving, to love and be loved, we push away and sabotage, often unknowingly.

Click here to read how coaching from the heart can help you to overcome these feelings and have a better life

What do you want instead?

Even seemingly well adjusted adoptees often have problems that play out in relationships, whether that is at home or at work.

We struggle with allowing closeness for fear of rejection again. We may feel confused about who we really are that leads us to feeling disconnected physically, emotionally and spiritually from a sense of self.

How could life be different?

Click here to find out what's possible

Latest News & Articles

It's time to stop coping and be your authentic self; to be less concerned about adapting in order to be loved and find out who you really are. Time to look within, to understand your responses and start moving out of the baby mind coping mechanisms in order to have true and lasting relationships.

READ HELPFUL ARTICLES

All you need to know to change your world ♥

I read something this week that was really concerning and deeply saddening- that there are a number of adopted people saying they wish they had been aborted rather than live with the mental torture of being adopted......and so as you can imagine I am compelled to write something......anything, to help ...
Read More

Don’t leave your fu##ing washing on the floor!!

Hypervigilance is an adopted persons worst enemy. It is an enhanced state of awareness where we are constantly on the look out for where we are not "being good". It looks to us as if our security depends on us pleasing people and not upsetting anyone and when it looks ...
Read More

Ooops, I did it again!

For me there is a sinking feeling that comes when you realise you have repeated a pattern again. It's that Oh f##k moment. I don't know how many times my daughters have heard the line- "This one's different" when I have launched into telling them about my latest relationship, and ...
Read More

What’s the big deal about being adopted?

I was told once that being adopted is one of the hardest thing in life to deal with, but why is that? Why is it that a baby/child/adult who is brought up by loving, caring people who have "chosen" him or her, created a loving family home, done everything that ...
Read More

Imagine being ok with uncertainty

being ok with uncertainty for adoptee in relationshipsKnowing that I was always ok no matter what happened changed everything.

Just saying I am doesn't help, because it's not an intellectual knowing; it's not something that suddenly one day you can go from not believing to believing, by repeatedly convincing yourself. It doesn't live in the realm of beliefs in the mind, because it lives in the heart.

It's source is in knowing who we truly are, underneath the veils of emotion that most adopted people throw over life- the insidious, distorting veil of insecurity.

 

Adoptee's tend to see themselves as flawed in some way and we use many coping mechanisms to try and keep ourselves safe from re-experiencing abandonment- however in the very act of this we usually end up sabotaging our relationships.We can manage to prove to ourselves that we are unlovable and in doing so recreate the very thing that we fear the most- rejection.

But....if you knew that actually you were always "ok" and that there was a part of you untouched by the trauma of adoption, that was whole and healthy, except you were just creating an "experience of not being ok" what would that change?

So if who you really are is not your experience, then who are you?

Imagine being completely at peace, regardless of what someone just said, or how someone acted towards you. Imagine not worrying about the future or how things were going to turn out. Imagine loving someone for who they are rather than just falling into the nearest relationship just because they like you.

Imagine loving yourself, knowing that you are always doing your best and that you have innate mental wellbeing that cannot be touched by anything.

That is who you really are.

Who you really are is peace of mind, is love, is freedom and has clarity and access to wisdom in any moment.

Beneath all the stories that are perpetuated daily by hanging out in a particular way of thinking, by taking your passing thoughts seriously, by defining and limiting yourself as unwanted, by being scared of your feelings and so pressing them down inside and not allowing yourself to experience them which then go deep into the body, by acting out of coping mechanisms designed by your small child self to survive.....underneath all of this insecurity is a perfectly ok you, creating a painful experience.

Imagine how different life can be when you are living from that place.

I do think that you have helped me see something- I would describe it as a calmer way of going through life that I thought was out of my reach due to my circumstances and the complicated relationship that I let develop with my ex-husband.  I knew where I wanted to be but I thought there were too many obstacles in my way stopping me from getting there.  I feel you made me see that the obstacles didn't matter.

J W

"I am more open, honest and welcoming to him – non threatening – and my openness that first evening gave him the confidence to respond similarly, which now gives us both the space to explore where we are emotionally.seem to have a lighter approach, being generally more considerate, compassionate and friendly – and less caught up with my own concerns."

C F-K

" The lightness and peace and ease just told me this was the right thing. I even thought about calling you when I landed but it was very late on Monday night.
 
I know that I would not have had that clarity or wisdom to make the decision had you and I not worked together. And I am eternally grateful to you for that."

JS

Ready to find out more?

Please call, email or text me and we can set up a time to talk by phone or Skype 

07713626673

help@dealingwithadoption.com