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Relationships present the biggest challenge for adoptees
Hello....I'm Alison and I am the adopted child of an adopted child.
I understand the challenges adoptees face and I have been helping people since 2011 to break their destructive patterns and understand themselves so they can live happier, peaceful lives.
Coaching from the heart
Studies have shown that most adoptees share core issues relating to abandonment and loss. They play out as insecurity around rejection, trust, intimacy, shame, guilt and control.
The very thing we are craving, to love and be loved, we push away and sabotage, often unknowingly.
What do you want instead?
Even seemingly well adjusted adoptees often have problems that play out in relationships, whether that is at home or at work.
We struggle with allowing closeness for fear of rejection again. We may feel confused about who we really are that leads us to feeling disconnected physically, emotionally and spiritually from a sense of self.
How could life be different?
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It's time to stop coping and be your authentic self; to be less concerned about adapting in order to be loved and find out who you really are. Time to look within, to understand your responses and start moving out of the baby mind coping mechanisms in order to have true and lasting relationships.
Imagine being ok with uncertainty
Knowing that I was always ok no matter what happened changed everything.
Just saying I am doesn't help, because it's not an intellectual knowing; it's not something that suddenly one day you can go from not believing to believing, by repeatedly convincing yourself. It doesn't live in the realm of beliefs in the mind, because it lives in the heart.
It's source is in knowing who we truly are, underneath the veils of emotion that most adopted people throw over life- the insidious, distorting veil of insecurity.
Adoptee's tend to see themselves as flawed in some way and we use many coping mechanisms to try and keep ourselves safe from re-experiencing abandonment- however in the very act of this we usually end up sabotaging our relationships.We can manage to prove to ourselves that we are unlovable and in doing so recreate the very thing that we fear the most- rejection.
But....if you knew that actually you were always "ok" and that there was a part of you untouched by the trauma of adoption, that was whole and healthy, except you were just creating an "experience of not being ok" what would that change?
So if who you really are is not your experience, then who are you?
Imagine being completely at peace, regardless of what someone just said, or how someone acted towards you. Imagine not worrying about the future or how things were going to turn out. Imagine loving someone for who they are rather than just falling into the nearest relationship just because they like you.
Imagine loving yourself, knowing that you are always doing your best and that you have innate mental wellbeing that cannot be touched by anything.
That is who you really are.
Who you really are is peace of mind, is love, is freedom and has clarity and access to wisdom in any moment.
Beneath all the stories that are perpetuated daily by hanging out in a particular way of thinking, by taking your passing thoughts seriously, by defining and limiting yourself as unwanted, by being scared of your feelings and so pressing them down inside and not allowing yourself to experience them which then go deep into the body, by acting out of coping mechanisms designed by your small child self to survive.....underneath all of this insecurity is a perfectly ok you, creating a painful experience.
Imagine how different life can be when you are living from that place.
Ready to find out more?
Please call, email or text me and we can set up a time to talk by phone or Skype